Friday, October 2, 2009

i just applied for graduation

news: i will be graduating in april of 2010. that's 6.5 months. this feels soooo good.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Women's Services Part Deux

This post made alot of readers angry/insulted. I wrote about two Women's Services posters that I found offensive and asserted my concern as to why there isn't a parallel "Men's Services" to for Men to help their wives with issues that are socially rampant. The already existing version is for "Loved Ones With Pornography Problems". I proposed a "Loved Ones with Eating Disorders", held in a Men's Services. I feel differently, today, about my harsh statements about it being a "men's" problem and not a "woman"'s. Partly, because I think that this whole thing is extremely gendered anyway. Men have eating disorders and woman look at porn too. So, that I retract. And also because it read as an attack on the bond of marriage. But, I still stand by my feelings about these issues being systemic to a culture of perfection. I know nothing about the treatments/therapy that goes on in Women's Services. I am talking about core issues-why are these so prevalent? That's what interests me. If we can talk about the cultural issues and the problems stemming from them, then we can start to turn this thing around.

Friday, July 31, 2009


heard on the radio: ", we've been hearing alot of talk about V, W, and U recessions. can you explain a little about each one?"

"yes. thanks for having me on the a V shaped recession is more of a sharp drop, with a sharp climb up with no sight of a drop off..."

"and a W?"

"well, a W, is a sharp drop, followed by a steep incline followed by another sharp drop, followed of course by another steep incline. many people are predicting this recession will follow this "W" plan, although of course, there is much debate and discourse over this..."

"and a U shape. talk about the U.."

"well the U shape, first off I would like to add that I personally think that this is what we should expect from this recession, but in any case, a U shape is a long, steady drop, followed by sort of a slow, gradual rise, with no apparent signs of a downfall..."

now, i personally believe in the "L" recession where we drop and glide until 2012. and then we die.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

holey matrimony

much to the chagrin of my employers, i love voodoo doughnuts. there's something about combining santeria with baked goods that just absolutely tickles me. what i didn't realize was that shop doubles as a wedding chapel. you can tie the knot under the "holey donut" and it's legit. at a price of $300 you get: a wedding, a voodoo priest to perform it, and donuts/coffee for 6 apres nuptuals. i've changed my mind on marriage-if i can get married under a big donut, AND it's legit-then marriage is for me.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

if you are old enough to buy it...

amazing. truly amazing and true story.

yesterday, i waited on a fine pair of hipsters. greasy hair, carefully placed. plastic sunglasses, ironic tattoos and high-waist shorts to boot. except for the dude. he had cutoffs.

so they walked in the restaurant with a brown bag, and me being the intuitive and slightly seasoned server that I am, I knew exactly what to do. i grabbed my cork opener, 2 buffed wine glasses and a serving napkin. prepared as i was for the wine service, I wasn't prepared for what was to happen.

i set down the wine glasses and ask "may i see your i.d.?" and what i got in return were glares, a sigh, and then a flash of a 1985 and a 1984. the latter was all i needed. they should have saved their breath.

but, i plunged forward with the service. the two decided to put their wine on ice for a while, before opening, and when i came back with an ice bucket i noticed that there was no sticker on the bottle. (legally, we cannot open wine without that sticker) i asked why there wasn't a sticker and they responded that "the law changed and stickers aren't being used anymore." wierd, i thought. all of our wine bottles still have stickers. but, i still wanted to serve it to them (but knew i couldn't legally without that sticker), so i asked them if they could tell me where they bought it so i could verify. i was met with a blank stare and a "can i just order while YOU figure this out?!"

we're almost there. as i walked back into the restaurant to talk to my boss, i could see the fumes coming out of her grease-laden ears. after weighing the issue, my boss decided to let me serve it to them. i return to the table to tell them the good news and i see only the guy. as i tell him that we will serve it to them and that " i am sorry for the trouble", i see it....the girl...sitting on the curb, pouting with her head in her hands.

maybe i read the i.d. wrong. was is 1994? 2004? because i sure as hell don't serve alcohol to children.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

waiting tables

a while back, i wrote a blog rant about proper manners in a restaurant. i will be posting the "best of's" periodically and some new encounters as well.

this was from a few years back when i worked at abbey road pub:

"i went up to my table of four ladies (i use that term loosely) and asked them if they wanted to go ahead and cash out right then. one of the ladies, clad in an oversized tie-dye tank top reminding me of why i hate tourists and "deadheads", proceeded to tell me "not yet", because she hadn't finished picking her teeth. needless to say i was rather dodgy when i later took the receipt and cash from her hands."

Monday, June 15, 2009

break it

i was just informed by a blonde crew-cut clerk, upon asking for a veggie burger at the "scoreboard grill" on campus, that my vegetarianism (never mind the couple years that dairy/eggs were a no go for me) is against the word of wisdom. while verbally i expressed that the clerk should "get a dictionary and look up the word 'sparingly'" and that he was "full of crap" as well-i couldn't help but wonder what the kid would say about my coffee habit and sailor mouth.

p.s. said clerk continued to inform me about how much beef he ate in brazil, on his mission, and how tasty it was. i think i just stared at him-wondering why his mouth was still moving and how quickly i could pay for my grilled cheese.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

garfunkel and oates!

funny song about pregnant women

this song addresses pat robertson's claim that legalizing gay marriage would lead to legalizing sex with ducks. this song is called "sex with ducks."

chimpanzee riding on a segway

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Recently, I've been working with various materials-or perhaps better put-I've been in search of materials to transform. I'm getting the straight pin and muslin thing down, and have also incorporated elmer's glue as a drawing device.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Maple Canyon

Going here today to climb today.

Sunday, April 26, 2009


so i got this wallet about a year ago, and wandering around the internet one day, found it on a website. felt i should share. i love how the profanities intensify according to the proximity of the meteor. and the aftermath, inside the wallet.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Friday, March 27, 2009

there you have it

found this on a craft website dedicated solely to bacon and eggs

Monday, March 23, 2009

diet coke: a medley

this one was titled, "where does diet coke come from?"

Monday, March 16, 2009

Sunday, March 8, 2009

vacuum project

by morganne blair wakefield and marc bradley johnson

this piece was brought by the idea of what it means to be a "white" person. oft times i feel like i have no culture of my own as a white-american. most of "white" history (american and european, specifically) is plagued with plundering and usurping power-and inherently a celebrated connoisseurship of food, art, music, and such from many lands-lands that they have conquered. the highest achievement for a white person, in my experience, is to be well traveled, well read, to eat well, to be able to speak more than one language, to have a pet culture (by way of mission, study abroad, graduate research, business travel, etc.), to dress well, and the list goes on. but those aren't enough. all those factors must collide with the sense that you have an international vein running though your experiences, choices and matter of taste. to clear things up, i fully realize i am talking about yuppie culture-but what is yuppie culture but a white ideal? i am interested in what is the highest achievement in a culture-specifically mine. so this film addresses whiteness as a vacuum of other cultures and the artifacts thereof. it's not a great film, but i think the point gets across.

and notice the dyson vacuum.

*the quality is kinda rough-sorry.

Saturday, March 7, 2009


this is the finished print that is currently up in our new media/digital student show, [re]context. for anyone who lives in utah, we will be having our closing reception thursday, march 12 at 7pm. the work will be up until the 13th. for those of you not in utah, i will be posting the video and sound piece i did online soon.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

i like this

she reminds me of carly simon. i like her hat and her hair.

Sunday, February 22, 2009


so i want this haircut. i need a little more mileage out of my "almost to my butt and trying to be crystal gayle" hair though.

new artwork

part of a series of straight pin/muslin drawings i am working on.

oil paintings using one kind of utensil and one repetitive motion.

digital painting-taken from ink prints of various parts of my body.

Monday, February 2, 2009

my hand/land

working on some figure/landscapes for my computer art class. these will be transformed and abstracted.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Excuse me?

So, my disgust with the BYU Women's Services has been long running. It began with horribly executed and addressed "eating disorder awareness" posters and is maintained not only by those still existing posters but also but the mere fact that they list "pornography" as a women's issue-presupposing that if a husband has a "problem" with it, it is the wife's duty to take action and seek out options.

Today, my disgust increased. We are back in the fifties ladies and this upcoming Feb. 19th, it will be made manifest:

January 22nd: "Nutrition for the New Year"-cooking for one...or TWO!

February 19th: "Flirting 101"--for singles AND married!
*****this is the one!

March 26th: "Lifelong Learning"-extend education beyond your degree!

Now, I do realize that the mission of the BYU WC is to address topics relative to the campus, but why are these topics culturally relevant in the first place? Why are eating disorders and pornography problems so prevalent here? You could say its a matter of noticing or being more aware or knowing that pornography is a sin and therefore being hypersensitive to it. I would say that it is the attention to control and perfectionism that is rampant in Mormon culture. It breeds this interior hysteria over the notion of "Perfect". Eating disorders are about control-women and men who have them are not "Fed Up With Food", as the poster slogan says. Pornography, culturally, lies in the level of mystery and wrongdoing which is so appealing-when something becomes "bad" or "sinful", it becomes enticing and interesting. Sex is interesting and alluring. I don't reject addiction to control or sex or what have you-I just don't think BYU is addressing the core issues or -in case of women and pornography-the right audience. That's not to say that if it is a real issue in the household, that wives shouldn't be involved. Pick your addiction, couples do need to work together and help each other to overcome and work through them. I'm saying, why should only women be addressed publicly for seeking help, on campus? Why are the posters aimed at them? I see dramatic inequality in responsibility and a huge discomfort in talking about sex. Why not a Men's Services then? Why can't men be addressed to help a loved one with an eating disorder?

**Note: Another problem I have with the porn poster is the idea that only men look at porn or have problems with it!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

l'enfant vert ou le bebe qui n'existe pas

my french is terrible. but my sense of humor isn't. and turns out i am really, REALLY intelligent and extremely attractive too. so it makes up for my french. did i mention that i am really, REALLY attractive?

anyways marc et moi, are working on our "green baby" installation where we will make babies out of recycled materials and showcase them in a local dumpster. we don't have anything against babies-just the idea that consuming could possibly be "green". the baby stands as the consumer in all its potential. now reusing or buying less-that would be "green". buying products under the assumption that it will help the earth or is "friendly" to it is absolutely absurd. products and products and products will not solve the problem of too many. so the dumpster comes into play with a current distress-the economy. magazines, blog headlines, newspapers-once filled with concern on how to "shop green" are now vomiting up ways to be "credit crunch chic"* (as Harper's Bazaar would put it). nobody cares about being green when the economy sucks- even though truly "green" practices fall into the category of saving money and resources. we propose a dumpster because a recycling bin has so much hope, and a budding reduction of guilt, whereas a trash can reduces whatever it holds to added destruction-at least mentally. "green" baby and home books are on sale by the dozens at our local Borders, where a few months ago it would have seemed like "green" was here to stay. so, babies, made out of recycled materials-kind of like straw dolls but made out of newspaper/plastic bags-left in a pile-hope abandoned. i don't know if something else will take the movements place- but if its consumer based-it will face a similar fate.

*Bazaar had an article about swap-meet parties that I thought was interesting. trading clothes, wearing used clothes-that would fall under the category of green as well as "credit crunch chic". :)

This is a great article called "Buying Into the Green Movement".

creepy green baby <----not part of the show but equally entertaining

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

killing me slowly

Carbonated water
Caramel color
Phosphoric acid
Potassium benzoate (to protect taste)
Natural flavors
Citric acid
The chemical composition of my blood these days